WARNING: May not be appropriate for young children...or playa hatas.
Today's story is set around a young man who turned 21 this last October. He is a guy who is well versed in politics, sports and technology. When the day started, he knew it would be important, but never guessed it would be his GREATEST COMEBACK EVER! *tune ESPN music* (Voiced by Steve Sabol).
This kid (we'll call him ne0) was up around 11:30 the night before his birthday when he proceeded to call up his friend, Yankee Fan. He and Yankee Fan's girl decide to go to a local bar for drinks at midnight. ne0 figures he's only going to get to drink tonight because of a big exam the day after his birthday. At the bar he proceeds to have two beers, a teabag (that's right a teabag) and an Irish Car Bomb, he goes home slightly dazed at about 12:45 and goes to sleep in a warm cushy bed. He wakes the next day to his 21 year old glory, he showers and goes to class as happy as can be, except for the fact that he has class until six (which includes a test). He heads home after the last bell rings its joyful tune.
Upon arriving at home, ne0 eats dinner and plays a little Playstation 2. His roomates: Soldier and Blackburns remember its his birthday and demand to take him out. ne0 says he has a big exam the next day and will only get a few faggy birthday shots. ne0 studies for the next hour and is still unsure of his test. Blackburns and Soldier say its time to go, so Blackburns' girl agrees to drive.
The first bar is Milligan's and ne0 is uncomfortable with all the creepy middle aged men trying to get poon from the college girls in the bar. ne0 flips out his id and gets a Three Wisemen (Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan), slams it and gets the hell out before someone mistakes his long hair to be that of a lady's and tries to rape him. Second stop yields a shot of Wild Turkey, an Irish Car Bomb, a Sam Adams and a Duck's Fart (don't ask), then across the street to a shot of Yukon Jack. It suddenly dawns on ne0, he is not going to stop drinking tonight, he will drink all the liquor the world has and be victorious, all knowledge of the test fades away into a drunken haze of whiskey shots.
After some bench walking the next stop yields a tall douchebag saying "Maximum Occupancy". ne0 looks downtroden and then remembers that this bar is for yuppie fuckoffs, "To the next bar!" ne0 declares to the shock and awe of his party and one drunk trying to slurp up the rest of his fallen drink in the street. ne0 decides to slow it down and really try to get beat to death tonight "I'll have a panty dropper", as the music shuts down and the lights come on to spotlight him, he realizes that he won't get beatup, he has long hair, but looks like a man because of his facial hair. No one is convinced, so he has a shot of tequila compliments of BanjoMan (a local superhero he happens to know). The party trods across the dangerous valley of Ivinson to the Cowpoke Bar and has an Oatmeal Cookie. ne0 exclaims "Wow, that tastes like an oatmeal cookie!" and has another. The Mountee Bar is next, and a couple more shots, a tie me to the bedpost and another Duck's Fart which happens to taste like a shot of whiskey, which happened to be shot out of a yeast infected vagina. Down to Silver's Lounge gets ne0 a Copper's Topper, good, but no liquor in there, and a sex on the beach, might as well not be liquor in there, and finally a blowjob, liquor in there, but hard to taste.
A storyline unfolds in that Blackburns' girlfriend is trying to be boarded by another mate, let's call him Private Dancer. Private Dancer asks Blackburn's pasty ass for his girls hand in a dance (her name from this point forward is Diana Jones). Diana Jones looks at Blackburns with a if you let him touch me, I hate you for life look. I look at Blackburns who has a he'll beat me to death look. What does he do...? He smiles, c'mon he's shitfaced. Blackburns says no, Private Dancer says no biggie and ends up dancing with and then most likely ends up having sex with white Tina Turner (meaning over 50 and wrinkley). Now...to the dive bar. An Alabama Slammer for ne0, yum! ne0 is pretty messed up but is determined to finish the bar circuit. As the party moves on, they notice that ne0 is still doing well, something is wrong and they realize that his mutant power is holding liquor, they decide to challenge that. They take him to Mingle's, where an evil monster called "The Green Martian" lives, ne0 says "Fuck that bitch, I'll take him down." ne0 does it...he can't believe it, a friend (Bizarro) buys him a shot of Jaeger too. One problem, he can't believe it because he does not remember because ne0 blacked the fuck out after he conquered the Green Martian, which actually conquered him. The party soon realizes that holding liquor is not ne0's super power.
If anyone reading this knows the individuals who joined ne0 above, you'll have to ask them what happened from this point until ne0 woke up in his bed with a piece of bread in this hand. The rest of the night breaks down like this Soldier takes care of ne0: bread, water, water, bread, crying, bread, water, sleep.
He awakes a full two hours before his test ne0 stares at the 8:00 a.m. time on his clock and smacks his lips from the cotton mouth. For some reason he has the shivers, he's not sure if he's a crack junky who has recently become addicted or a recent pnumonia patient. His headache isn't too bad and as if through divine inspiration a voice says "ne0! 1 1/2 glasses of water, 2 pieces of bread and 4 ibuprofen," he abliges. ne0 studies for maybe ten minutes on his exam and goes to class shaking like Jamie Foxx in "Ray". ne0 sits at the computer and takes his exam slowly and judiciously, then goes to the rest of his classes. He goes home and eats and sleeps for an hour, the next day he receives his test score...a 90%. The only words that could form from his voice box were as follows "Boo-fuckin-yah!" He later finds out that the test he took the day before his birthday yielded an 86% and the test he took on his birthday yielded a 92.5%. Again, the only words that could be heard were "Boo-fuckin-yah!"
This concludes another episode of ESPN's Greatest Comebacks EVER! *cue ESPN music* I'm Steve Sabol, until next time...
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Game of the Century...blah blah blah
It appears that through all this good will I figured the Mountain West generated in getting five bowl eligible squads, that Wyoming would get a bowl game, even one as insignificant as the newly fielded Texas Bowl. But alas, I am foreboding the bowl season despite the fact that Wyoming somehow turned around a backward season and ended up 5-3 in conference play which will most likely put them into a tie for third place in which they overide Utah to be the actual third place team in the MWC. BYU, and this seems odd for a team in the standing that it is in (#23) has decided to already accept the Las Vegas Bowl, which slightly confuses me, it seems that they should at least wait until the season is over and see if any other bowls would be willing to bill the top MWC team that is also nationally ranked, but whatever, BYU is going for the sure thing (which would be a sure thing anyways). TCU will receive the Fort Worth Bowl, and they WILL take the bid because they ARE from Fort Worth. TCU I think in effect deserves the bowl that they are given because they certainly managed to turn their season around into something that is very respectable as a program from the beginning of the year being that they were nationally ranked and then proceeded to lose hard and bring themselves back to prominence. And even though Wyoming will have a higher ranking in the conference, Utah will receive the Poinsettia Bowl bid in San Diego because they happen to be 7-5 (unless by some miracle of God, they defeat BYU at home this saturday). However, Wyoming does have a chance in hell of getting a bowl, the New Mexico Bowl. New Mexico is currently poised to take that bowl bid, but one obsticle is left standing, SDSU. The San Diego State Aztecs gave Wyoming more than a handful two weeks ago at home and don't think that the Aztecs are going to roll over for the Lobos. I think that they will be challenged by this game, but will probably win and take the New Mexico bid. I know this may seem unfamiliar, but root for the Aztecs if you love the Cowboys because they are our chance at taking the New Mexico Bowl, root for BYU too, just in case of a Utah/Wyoming tie in the MWC influencing the Poinsettia Bowl bid decisions. Its sad, but Wyoming will probably not make a bowl this year and honestly, they deserve it for the work they've done in the past few months really pulling the college into a winning program.
Now onto the bigger picture:
Boise State @ Nevada:
If there is any game that Boise State needs to win right now, it is this one! If there is any game that Boise State needed Ian Johnson (RB) for, it is this game. Nothing like having the NCAA leader in rushing TDs still out with a partially collapsed lung. A win here almost guaruntees a Fiesta Bowl matchup against the winner of the Big 12, probably Texas and most likely an epic ass-whoopin'. However, a victory here is needed to get to that stage, a loss to the Nevada Wolf-Pack will drop them into a position to play in the only Boise bowl game, MPC Computers Bowl. Even though Nevada would love to come away with a victory here, a loss is just as valuable, given that Hawaii has already accepted the Hawaii Bowl in Honolulu, Nevada would almost automatically receive...that's right, the MPC Computers Bowl in Boise, if they will, Boise goes there and Nevada may very well get nothing. Recent numbers have the Wolf Pack winning by a single point, but watch out, Rutgers may have been Cinderella, but Boise is definitely the Snow White of the NCAAFB, let's just hope they don't eat the apple again at Nevada this weekend.
Florida @ Florida State & SEC Championship:
Urban Meyer is about two steps from hopping on the college football playoff train and it could be these two games plus another that make him take over that train. Florida State has had a deplorable season and have done very well to make me want to vomit. After last year's FSU team doing so well and taking it to Penn State all through the night to come into this year and self-destruct is utterly horrid. Florida will most likely win this game handedly, but don't even count out this game, it could be a good one to at least watch. However, the big problem comes in the SEC championship, which will be Arkansas and Florida, and Arkansas will win that game. However, if Florida wins both of these games and ND manages to rip a win off of USC, Florida could be punching a ticket to Glendale, but a USC loss is needed in addition to a win in both of these games. As far as the implications for Arkansas go, they could be huge, if they can defeat both Florida and LSU as the season starts to expire, it could be the type of thing that (with a USC loss) pushes them into a national title game against Ohio State.
Purdue/Oregon State @ Hawaii:
Six touchdowns from tying the NCAA record for touchdowns in a season, Colt Brennan is two games away from rewriting the history books and right now is the most dominant passer in NCAAFB, he has to get four TDs in one game and three in the other to take the top spot of all time, for a man who throws about five TDs a game, this should be an easy feat. Watch for Hawaii to rewrite the record books and decimate whoever rolls into Honolulu for the bowl game this holiday season.
LSU @ Arkansas:
If Arkansas can defeat LSU here, it will signal their next step up and a victory in the SEC championship could be just enough to leap over the winner of the USC/ND game as number three or more especially, number two in the BCS. However, Arkansas will have a tough match against JaMarcus Russell and the Tigers, the Razorbacks have shown that they can take just about anyone on and give 'em one-four. However, the Tigers might present a challenge to this typical domination by the Razorbacks.
Notre Dame @ USC:
I don't think I even need to state the importance of this game, but I will. What is on the line here? A number two spot for USC who is .007 behind Michigan in the overall rankings and a trip to Glendale. For Notre Dame, with a whole lot of goofy needed outcomes for them, a number two spot as well. I won't go into details on the level of mishaps that will have to happen for Notre Dame to climb above Michigan in the overall polls. These two teams haven't forgotten about last year, it was this game last year that cost ND a New Year's Date with Texas in the National Championship. Don't think that Brady Quinn and Jeff Samardzija have not forgotten what happened last year in what I will call the lousiest call ever (since the forward pass of Tom Brady in the NE/Oakland playoff game) that allowed the USC Trojans to slip out of the regular season unbeaten. Both teams are ready and want to defeat the other team no matter the costs. Also, it is a victory that could boost ND's Brady Quinn Heisman caliber over the top of Troy Smith. This game is worth a lot, to a lot of people. And if I had a game that I'd say you have to watch this weekend for sure, it is this matchup.
Which brings me to my final section, which is a dump on the Heisman. The Heisman is easily the most unfair of all of the honors given by NCAAFB because ir relies on team position before anything else. Last year's winner was clear cut, Reggie Bush was the most outstanding player, with a massive number of all purpose yards a game and a great number of touchdowns, he deserved it. And when I hear people who voted in the Heisman say "I wish I'd of given my vote to Vince Young" it makes me sick, Young just was not the better player, just because he and the Longhorns came out on top is no excuse to say "nay" to Bush. However, it brings up an interesting point: Team standing owns the Heisman. Even if Dwayne Jarrett had the most fantastic season with USC this year, upwards of 25 TDs, he'd still lose to Troy Smith, why? Because he heads one of the only two unbeaten teams in NCAAFB. Then secondarily, it goes to player skill, as can be evidenced by the fact that Ian Johnson isn't even a quarterfinalist for the award, not to mention Colt Brennan who is creaming both of these guys in the numbers game. What worries me the most is that even if Brady Quinn, throws a marvelous game in which he has no turnovers and great yards, and completion rating against USC, Smith will still win, even if OSU loses the national championship to whoever. Look at the comparison:
Troy Smith, OSU (QB):
199/297 (67%), 2,507 yds, 8.4 yds/attempt, 30 TDs, 5 INTs, 167.9 (QB rating)
Brady Quinn, ND (QB):
252/387 (65%), 3,004 yds, 7.8 yds/attempt, 32 TDs, 5 INTs, 155 (QB rating)
Look at that! The numbers are almost identical and with one more good game under his belt, Brady Quinn should be the winner of the Heisman! But he will not win, because everyone is starstruck by Troy Smith, his mass of offensive weapons (which resembles a naval battleship) and a strong defense that has allowed him to get the ball more and more. His individual ability relies solely on his team. Brady Quinn's does not, he works with a squad that is good, but does not execute as well as an OSU team could behind his strong arm. This is why the best team is Ohio State, no bones, but the best player is Brady Quinn and its almost disturbing knowing that what defines the best player is not his ability, but his team...fuck you Heisman.
Now onto the bigger picture:
Boise State @ Nevada:
If there is any game that Boise State needs to win right now, it is this one! If there is any game that Boise State needed Ian Johnson (RB) for, it is this game. Nothing like having the NCAA leader in rushing TDs still out with a partially collapsed lung. A win here almost guaruntees a Fiesta Bowl matchup against the winner of the Big 12, probably Texas and most likely an epic ass-whoopin'. However, a victory here is needed to get to that stage, a loss to the Nevada Wolf-Pack will drop them into a position to play in the only Boise bowl game, MPC Computers Bowl. Even though Nevada would love to come away with a victory here, a loss is just as valuable, given that Hawaii has already accepted the Hawaii Bowl in Honolulu, Nevada would almost automatically receive...that's right, the MPC Computers Bowl in Boise, if they will, Boise goes there and Nevada may very well get nothing. Recent numbers have the Wolf Pack winning by a single point, but watch out, Rutgers may have been Cinderella, but Boise is definitely the Snow White of the NCAAFB, let's just hope they don't eat the apple again at Nevada this weekend.
Florida @ Florida State & SEC Championship:
Urban Meyer is about two steps from hopping on the college football playoff train and it could be these two games plus another that make him take over that train. Florida State has had a deplorable season and have done very well to make me want to vomit. After last year's FSU team doing so well and taking it to Penn State all through the night to come into this year and self-destruct is utterly horrid. Florida will most likely win this game handedly, but don't even count out this game, it could be a good one to at least watch. However, the big problem comes in the SEC championship, which will be Arkansas and Florida, and Arkansas will win that game. However, if Florida wins both of these games and ND manages to rip a win off of USC, Florida could be punching a ticket to Glendale, but a USC loss is needed in addition to a win in both of these games. As far as the implications for Arkansas go, they could be huge, if they can defeat both Florida and LSU as the season starts to expire, it could be the type of thing that (with a USC loss) pushes them into a national title game against Ohio State.
Purdue/Oregon State @ Hawaii:
Six touchdowns from tying the NCAA record for touchdowns in a season, Colt Brennan is two games away from rewriting the history books and right now is the most dominant passer in NCAAFB, he has to get four TDs in one game and three in the other to take the top spot of all time, for a man who throws about five TDs a game, this should be an easy feat. Watch for Hawaii to rewrite the record books and decimate whoever rolls into Honolulu for the bowl game this holiday season.
LSU @ Arkansas:
If Arkansas can defeat LSU here, it will signal their next step up and a victory in the SEC championship could be just enough to leap over the winner of the USC/ND game as number three or more especially, number two in the BCS. However, Arkansas will have a tough match against JaMarcus Russell and the Tigers, the Razorbacks have shown that they can take just about anyone on and give 'em one-four. However, the Tigers might present a challenge to this typical domination by the Razorbacks.
Notre Dame @ USC:
I don't think I even need to state the importance of this game, but I will. What is on the line here? A number two spot for USC who is .007 behind Michigan in the overall rankings and a trip to Glendale. For Notre Dame, with a whole lot of goofy needed outcomes for them, a number two spot as well. I won't go into details on the level of mishaps that will have to happen for Notre Dame to climb above Michigan in the overall polls. These two teams haven't forgotten about last year, it was this game last year that cost ND a New Year's Date with Texas in the National Championship. Don't think that Brady Quinn and Jeff Samardzija have not forgotten what happened last year in what I will call the lousiest call ever (since the forward pass of Tom Brady in the NE/Oakland playoff game) that allowed the USC Trojans to slip out of the regular season unbeaten. Both teams are ready and want to defeat the other team no matter the costs. Also, it is a victory that could boost ND's Brady Quinn Heisman caliber over the top of Troy Smith. This game is worth a lot, to a lot of people. And if I had a game that I'd say you have to watch this weekend for sure, it is this matchup.
Which brings me to my final section, which is a dump on the Heisman. The Heisman is easily the most unfair of all of the honors given by NCAAFB because ir relies on team position before anything else. Last year's winner was clear cut, Reggie Bush was the most outstanding player, with a massive number of all purpose yards a game and a great number of touchdowns, he deserved it. And when I hear people who voted in the Heisman say "I wish I'd of given my vote to Vince Young" it makes me sick, Young just was not the better player, just because he and the Longhorns came out on top is no excuse to say "nay" to Bush. However, it brings up an interesting point: Team standing owns the Heisman. Even if Dwayne Jarrett had the most fantastic season with USC this year, upwards of 25 TDs, he'd still lose to Troy Smith, why? Because he heads one of the only two unbeaten teams in NCAAFB. Then secondarily, it goes to player skill, as can be evidenced by the fact that Ian Johnson isn't even a quarterfinalist for the award, not to mention Colt Brennan who is creaming both of these guys in the numbers game. What worries me the most is that even if Brady Quinn, throws a marvelous game in which he has no turnovers and great yards, and completion rating against USC, Smith will still win, even if OSU loses the national championship to whoever. Look at the comparison:
Troy Smith, OSU (QB):
199/297 (67%), 2,507 yds, 8.4 yds/attempt, 30 TDs, 5 INTs, 167.9 (QB rating)
Brady Quinn, ND (QB):
252/387 (65%), 3,004 yds, 7.8 yds/attempt, 32 TDs, 5 INTs, 155 (QB rating)
Look at that! The numbers are almost identical and with one more good game under his belt, Brady Quinn should be the winner of the Heisman! But he will not win, because everyone is starstruck by Troy Smith, his mass of offensive weapons (which resembles a naval battleship) and a strong defense that has allowed him to get the ball more and more. His individual ability relies solely on his team. Brady Quinn's does not, he works with a squad that is good, but does not execute as well as an OSU team could behind his strong arm. This is why the best team is Ohio State, no bones, but the best player is Brady Quinn and its almost disturbing knowing that what defines the best player is not his ability, but his team...fuck you Heisman.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Ahhh back to the basics...next-gen consoles
That's right, for those of you who are video game illiterate, there are a slab of next-gen consoles out on the market right now for the taking. The Nintendo Wii, the XBox 360 and the Playstation 3.
At first sight I was not convinced by the Wii, but looking at it again, it looks like fun. However, I am not blind to the fact that the Wii Sports title that comes with the system has left me a bit disheartened. I simply know that the sports title will not make me want to play it over and over again, the replay value there is gone. However, what will keep the Wii alive and kicking are its game titles that will not be forwarded to other systems, like Metroid 3, Mario Galaxies, and of course Legend of Zelda. The new Legend of Zelda looked to be like a fun title and something i'd like to get into, but alas, I don't have three or four hundred dollars to spend on a Wii. One thing I will note about the Wii, hello! The graphics are NOT there. Even with games like Zelda I'm saying, ya' know, that's about a step above Gamecube, but nothing mesmerizing. In conclusion, it will be the gameplay that saves the Wii, not its graphical capability.
The XBox 360 is owning the market at current and that is because it has had a full year to play around with people's imaginations. 360 holds a number of great titles that are sure to keep people dazzled for at least a few weeks and an online play system that is tremendous in comparison to either Nintendo's or Sony's. In short, the 360 has the market right now and some of the major strengths to keep it running strong, but before too long it is going to have to start cranking out some great titles (besides Halo 3) to be the top dog.
Playstation 3 has just come out this week like the Wii and has come with a tidy pricetag of $600. One thing that the PS3 has is a capable dvd player that the XBox seems to have missed out on and also has the graphics to boot. However, the PS3 has a lot to overcome including a set of launch games that have been less than stunning. Don't count the PS3 though, it has some hurdles to jump, but guarunteed it will go through the hoops easily. The launch of Metal Gear Solid 4 will do major things for the PS3.
In the end, the PS3 will own the most of the market, why? Because its the name that most people trust and enjoy. No one has enough ground on Sony to take them out of the top spot and just because there is a pricetag on the PS3 that is nuts, true gamers will find a way, when the 360 cost 500 dollars, gamers found a way. Just cause its expensive doesn't mean anything in the lion's share of the market.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sony_bullshit
In a final note, I'd like to say "Screw you Maddox, your bitching about Sony is the second crappiest article you've ever written!" Get some balls man, that was pathetic. Got problems with the PSP? Then go talk about them at E3 you big dumb shitbag.
1,245,321 people are sick of Maddox's shitty writing
At first sight I was not convinced by the Wii, but looking at it again, it looks like fun. However, I am not blind to the fact that the Wii Sports title that comes with the system has left me a bit disheartened. I simply know that the sports title will not make me want to play it over and over again, the replay value there is gone. However, what will keep the Wii alive and kicking are its game titles that will not be forwarded to other systems, like Metroid 3, Mario Galaxies, and of course Legend of Zelda. The new Legend of Zelda looked to be like a fun title and something i'd like to get into, but alas, I don't have three or four hundred dollars to spend on a Wii. One thing I will note about the Wii, hello! The graphics are NOT there. Even with games like Zelda I'm saying, ya' know, that's about a step above Gamecube, but nothing mesmerizing. In conclusion, it will be the gameplay that saves the Wii, not its graphical capability.
The XBox 360 is owning the market at current and that is because it has had a full year to play around with people's imaginations. 360 holds a number of great titles that are sure to keep people dazzled for at least a few weeks and an online play system that is tremendous in comparison to either Nintendo's or Sony's. In short, the 360 has the market right now and some of the major strengths to keep it running strong, but before too long it is going to have to start cranking out some great titles (besides Halo 3) to be the top dog.
Playstation 3 has just come out this week like the Wii and has come with a tidy pricetag of $600. One thing that the PS3 has is a capable dvd player that the XBox seems to have missed out on and also has the graphics to boot. However, the PS3 has a lot to overcome including a set of launch games that have been less than stunning. Don't count the PS3 though, it has some hurdles to jump, but guarunteed it will go through the hoops easily. The launch of Metal Gear Solid 4 will do major things for the PS3.
In the end, the PS3 will own the most of the market, why? Because its the name that most people trust and enjoy. No one has enough ground on Sony to take them out of the top spot and just because there is a pricetag on the PS3 that is nuts, true gamers will find a way, when the 360 cost 500 dollars, gamers found a way. Just cause its expensive doesn't mean anything in the lion's share of the market.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sony_bullshit
In a final note, I'd like to say "Screw you Maddox, your bitching about Sony is the second crappiest article you've ever written!" Get some balls man, that was pathetic. Got problems with the PSP? Then go talk about them at E3 you big dumb shitbag.
1,245,321 people are sick of Maddox's shitty writing
Friday, November 17, 2006
Kazakhstanis and Bond
This is finally a movie section.
Borat: A. Two words: "Happy Hand". That's right Borat made me laugh until I fucking BAWLED! This movie is messed up beyond belief, so if you are easily offended then get the hell out of the theater. The storyline follows a Kazak who comes from the former Soviet Union to learn about the ways of life in America. He then goes through the heartaches that accompany becoming an American. There is anti-seimitism, racism, sexism, I mean something for the whole family to enjoy. Let me be frank, if you like South Park...at all, you will like Borat. If you don't miss an episode of South Park, you will LOVE Borat. I was originally attracted to the movie on the basis that Sacha Baron Cohen was in it, given his masterfully funny role in Talledega Nights. I had seen him from time to time on Da Ali G Show, but never really got into the program. I realized that Cohen was gold and his style of comedy was the exact opposite of Dane Cook's, it was edgey and completely freakin' messed up. I give Borat an "A" because it not only was funny on a level that makes it comprable to "Ask A Ninja", but also "Maddox", "Tucker Max" and also on a general trend of funny that many stand-ups have. And to boot, Cohen makes it a very interesting thought experiment because of the fact that Americans deny their racism in trying to be politically correct when they are not.
Casino Royale: ? Let's just say this, there were ten seats left when I got to the theater and it almost spoke to me right off the bat, "Borat". This does not mean I do not want any part of Casino Royale. I believe that Daniel Craig will be a superb Bond and I think that this new series of Bond films will be quite amazing. That being said, if you haven't seen Casino Royale yet, do it now! If only to be connected once again with a solid franchise of Bond movies. And for those of you who thought that the original Casino Royale was good...let's just say that I hope you never find me, cause if you do, I will beat the hell out of you.
Rocky Balboa: Not even out yet. Is it gonna' suck? Yes, worse that Rocky V? NO WAY! The whole basis for this movie making money is because everyone loves Rocky and if you don't, you suck. Even people who love Dolph Lundgren love Rocky. I can't wait to see this movie, and I will probably love it because I grew up on Rocky. I grew up watching Rocky, Indiana Jones and Die Hard. So Harrison Ford, Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis will always hold a special spot in my heart. So watch for Rocky Balboa, its gonna' stink, but hey, there are even worse Christmas movies coming out (see: DECK THE HALLS).
Turistas: Okay, enough of this crap, I am sick to death of ripoff horror films. It was like the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre got made and then people thought it would be just fine to make a slew of crappy new horror movies. I think that Hostle was total crap, I bought the dvd because a friend told me to, I then watched the movie and instead of taking it back, I was so disgusted I took a fucking ball pin hammer to the sonuvabitch. I was determined to never let another human being see that crap. Now it seems that some guys got this great idea, the same idea, but in Brazil...great. I think that I'd rather go to Africa and drink an Ebola victim's blood. Thanks a lot Hollywood, you've ruined horror.
Smokin' Aces: Lots of potential. This movie looks like a box of Rice-A-Roni would have a more consistent storyline than it, but it looks like fun. I really want to see it despite the fact that there will be some one-liners in it that leave me begging for a frontal labotomy.
Saw III: See Turistas for the ruining of horror. Let's just say this, I saw the first Saw and predicted what would happen, I was not impressed. Everyone left the theater thinking that Tobin Bell was such a freakin' genius! Yeah, clever...really clever. Then when I predicted the second movie to a T and people were still even more amazed by it. The third one sounds like a stupid joke. They should've renamed Saw III, Saw III Death of a Franchise, or Saw III, Tobin Bell is still alive AND has a movie career. Screw this series of films, they have no validity in my book.
The Return: See Saw III for ruining of horror. Lets just say this, screw the Ring, screw the Ring II, screw the Grudge, screw all these horror adaptations of Japanese films. Congrats to the Japanese for making some pretty okay movies (I didn't like them, but they weren't bad). These American versions are about as pitiful as David Blaine trying to sell a cookbook. I think I'd have a better night drinking paint thinner and then dropping a flaming match down my throat.
The Departed: B-. I am not on the board of people who thought that the Departed was the most amazing movie Scorsese ever created. Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Taxi Driver, Gangs of New York. His best movie ever my ass, it wasn't even his storyline this time around, movie was ripped off an older Japanese crime drama. There were so many better ways that Damon and DiCaprio could have interacted. Martin Sheen was dead on with his performance. Nicholson confused me, it seemed like he had his role together so well in certain parts, but in others it seemed like he had gotten Alzheimer's for the scene. Damon and DiCaprio were great in acting and their chemistry (for as little as they are seen together) was great. Probably my wildcard from this was Ray Winstone who played Mr. French, I was first introduced to Winstone in The Proposal with Guy Pearce, which I thought Winstone was pretty fantastic, I also enjoyed him here. Mark Wahlberg had his role down cold, dirty asshole cop from Boston...oh shit that's right, Mark Wahlberg is a dirty asshole actor from Boston, man that really added a whole new element to the story. All in all, this was not Scorsese's best work and the horrifying thing is he will probably win the best director Oscar for this movie and it is NOT his best work.
Fast Food Nation: This movie has massive amounts of potential, following on the coat tails of what I think is in my top five comedy movies of all time (Thank You For Smoking). Greg Kinnear can never be underestimated as an actor and can be very serious at important moments, but be a cut-up when he needs to be a solid comic actor. Watch for him to shine in this film.
Let's Go To Prison: Outside chance of being funny and that is what gives this film a chance. I think that it is something I'll take a look at when it comes out on video.
Bobby: Now this is a movie that I have utmost confidence in. Emilio Estevez directs this smart piece about the people who were around on the day that Bobby Kennedy was murdered. An allstar cast of actors heads up what seems to be a very intriguing storyline about the individual lives and how they all lead to the same intersection, the death of Robert Kennedy. I say see this movie, you'll enjoy it no matter what.
That is it for now, I won't even get into Santa Clause 3 or Babel (not impressed at all). Thanks for reading and be sure to see some films its A Good Year, just kidding, sorry Russell, but I'm waiting for Ridley's next project.
Borat: A. Two words: "Happy Hand". That's right Borat made me laugh until I fucking BAWLED! This movie is messed up beyond belief, so if you are easily offended then get the hell out of the theater. The storyline follows a Kazak who comes from the former Soviet Union to learn about the ways of life in America. He then goes through the heartaches that accompany becoming an American. There is anti-seimitism, racism, sexism, I mean something for the whole family to enjoy. Let me be frank, if you like South Park...at all, you will like Borat. If you don't miss an episode of South Park, you will LOVE Borat. I was originally attracted to the movie on the basis that Sacha Baron Cohen was in it, given his masterfully funny role in Talledega Nights. I had seen him from time to time on Da Ali G Show, but never really got into the program. I realized that Cohen was gold and his style of comedy was the exact opposite of Dane Cook's, it was edgey and completely freakin' messed up. I give Borat an "A" because it not only was funny on a level that makes it comprable to "Ask A Ninja", but also "Maddox", "Tucker Max" and also on a general trend of funny that many stand-ups have. And to boot, Cohen makes it a very interesting thought experiment because of the fact that Americans deny their racism in trying to be politically correct when they are not.
Casino Royale: ? Let's just say this, there were ten seats left when I got to the theater and it almost spoke to me right off the bat, "Borat". This does not mean I do not want any part of Casino Royale. I believe that Daniel Craig will be a superb Bond and I think that this new series of Bond films will be quite amazing. That being said, if you haven't seen Casino Royale yet, do it now! If only to be connected once again with a solid franchise of Bond movies. And for those of you who thought that the original Casino Royale was good...let's just say that I hope you never find me, cause if you do, I will beat the hell out of you.
Rocky Balboa: Not even out yet. Is it gonna' suck? Yes, worse that Rocky V? NO WAY! The whole basis for this movie making money is because everyone loves Rocky and if you don't, you suck. Even people who love Dolph Lundgren love Rocky. I can't wait to see this movie, and I will probably love it because I grew up on Rocky. I grew up watching Rocky, Indiana Jones and Die Hard. So Harrison Ford, Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis will always hold a special spot in my heart. So watch for Rocky Balboa, its gonna' stink, but hey, there are even worse Christmas movies coming out (see: DECK THE HALLS).
Turistas: Okay, enough of this crap, I am sick to death of ripoff horror films. It was like the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre got made and then people thought it would be just fine to make a slew of crappy new horror movies. I think that Hostle was total crap, I bought the dvd because a friend told me to, I then watched the movie and instead of taking it back, I was so disgusted I took a fucking ball pin hammer to the sonuvabitch. I was determined to never let another human being see that crap. Now it seems that some guys got this great idea, the same idea, but in Brazil...great. I think that I'd rather go to Africa and drink an Ebola victim's blood. Thanks a lot Hollywood, you've ruined horror.
Smokin' Aces: Lots of potential. This movie looks like a box of Rice-A-Roni would have a more consistent storyline than it, but it looks like fun. I really want to see it despite the fact that there will be some one-liners in it that leave me begging for a frontal labotomy.
Saw III: See Turistas for the ruining of horror. Let's just say this, I saw the first Saw and predicted what would happen, I was not impressed. Everyone left the theater thinking that Tobin Bell was such a freakin' genius! Yeah, clever...really clever. Then when I predicted the second movie to a T and people were still even more amazed by it. The third one sounds like a stupid joke. They should've renamed Saw III, Saw III Death of a Franchise, or Saw III, Tobin Bell is still alive AND has a movie career. Screw this series of films, they have no validity in my book.
The Return: See Saw III for ruining of horror. Lets just say this, screw the Ring, screw the Ring II, screw the Grudge, screw all these horror adaptations of Japanese films. Congrats to the Japanese for making some pretty okay movies (I didn't like them, but they weren't bad). These American versions are about as pitiful as David Blaine trying to sell a cookbook. I think I'd have a better night drinking paint thinner and then dropping a flaming match down my throat.
The Departed: B-. I am not on the board of people who thought that the Departed was the most amazing movie Scorsese ever created. Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Taxi Driver, Gangs of New York. His best movie ever my ass, it wasn't even his storyline this time around, movie was ripped off an older Japanese crime drama. There were so many better ways that Damon and DiCaprio could have interacted. Martin Sheen was dead on with his performance. Nicholson confused me, it seemed like he had his role together so well in certain parts, but in others it seemed like he had gotten Alzheimer's for the scene. Damon and DiCaprio were great in acting and their chemistry (for as little as they are seen together) was great. Probably my wildcard from this was Ray Winstone who played Mr. French, I was first introduced to Winstone in The Proposal with Guy Pearce, which I thought Winstone was pretty fantastic, I also enjoyed him here. Mark Wahlberg had his role down cold, dirty asshole cop from Boston...oh shit that's right, Mark Wahlberg is a dirty asshole actor from Boston, man that really added a whole new element to the story. All in all, this was not Scorsese's best work and the horrifying thing is he will probably win the best director Oscar for this movie and it is NOT his best work.
Fast Food Nation: This movie has massive amounts of potential, following on the coat tails of what I think is in my top five comedy movies of all time (Thank You For Smoking). Greg Kinnear can never be underestimated as an actor and can be very serious at important moments, but be a cut-up when he needs to be a solid comic actor. Watch for him to shine in this film.
Let's Go To Prison: Outside chance of being funny and that is what gives this film a chance. I think that it is something I'll take a look at when it comes out on video.
Bobby: Now this is a movie that I have utmost confidence in. Emilio Estevez directs this smart piece about the people who were around on the day that Bobby Kennedy was murdered. An allstar cast of actors heads up what seems to be a very intriguing storyline about the individual lives and how they all lead to the same intersection, the death of Robert Kennedy. I say see this movie, you'll enjoy it no matter what.
That is it for now, I won't even get into Santa Clause 3 or Babel (not impressed at all). Thanks for reading and be sure to see some films its A Good Year, just kidding, sorry Russell, but I'm waiting for Ridley's next project.
Super Saturday...?
That's right ladies and gentlement, tomorrow is Ohio State v. Michigan in the most important game of the season, except for maybe USC v. Notre Dame which could be equally important in deciding the national champtionship opponent. I'll keep this one short and sweet as to let you know. I don't even need to include the sentimental importance of a victory with the death of Bo Schembechler in order to prove that UM will win. Michigan WILL win this game, they're not going to win by a lot, they just will win. It isn't about being a strong force on the offense for either team, it will manifest itself in producing enough to get around the field. Chad Henne and Mike Hart can do that, Troy Smith (the so-called Heisman winner) will not. Chad Henne will spread the defense of OSU out and of course Mike Hart who is having a Heisman go of it himself will punch the OSU D in the mouth. Why will Troy Smith not be able to take the Buckeyes to the win? One simple reason, Michigan WILL not let him throw. Do you remember the way that Michigan dismantled Brady Quinn's throwing ability? Yeah, that's right and-going out on a limb here I'll say-he is the better of the two quarterbacks. The secondary of Michigan will torture Troy Smith all day. In the end, Michigan will win close, by 1-3 points. So, its always been said that offense wins games, defense wins championships...tomorrow is a championship.
Also tomorrow look for Brady Quinn to destroy the defense of Army, USC to choke a loss to Cal (who might I add is full of piss and vinegar from losing to Arizona). Maybe finally the BCS will get Florida the hell out of there and put ND in its rightful position. Also look for Boise State to annihilate Utah State (poor Aggies) and keep on running the road to a top five position in the BCS.
Also tomorrow look for Brady Quinn to destroy the defense of Army, USC to choke a loss to Cal (who might I add is full of piss and vinegar from losing to Arizona). Maybe finally the BCS will get Florida the hell out of there and put ND in its rightful position. Also look for Boise State to annihilate Utah State (poor Aggies) and keep on running the road to a top five position in the BCS.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
You mean he got the death sentence!?
Out of all of this hate and discontent among all of you fellow Americans out there, the thing that horrifies me the most is that many of you who are commenting are misspelling words that children don't miss. I won't go into any details on anyone specific, but there is actually a spell check button on most word processors. So I guess the one thing I'll say is that if you are smart enough to try and comment on one of the biggest international trials since the Nuremburg War Crimes, spell correctly.
Now onto Saddam, there is no joke that this case decision being delivered to millions of Americans is going to make the Republican Party come out smelling like a white mushroom. It is these large overall acts that go far in helping Republican candidates' constituencies ignore what the polls are saying, what their opponents are saying and even what they are saying.
Beyond this, Hussein was a dictator, but there is one thing that dictators do well, and always will do well, they control. People in Iraq did not have to worry about getting water, food, and electricity. Now, with the work Americans have done there, it is difficult to live day to day and with the insurgence and sectarian violence. The children, the mothers and the fathers of Iraqi families are dying each day. However, I will say this: We must not leave, why? Because we (meaning our president and defense department) made this bed called Iraq and now we must sleep in it. George Bush can stay the course all he wants to, I will not stay the course, I will advance the course with all possible speed. This needs to end soon and so therefore do the corruption of our government in this area, the death of our troops and the death of innocent Iraqi civilians.
Saddam's trial was just an overemphasized Hollywood trial to keep people's eyes of the real problems in Iraq. I know its hard to communicate sarcasm of the internet, but I'll be blunt...who thought that Saddam wouldn't get a death sentence, if there is anyone out there who reasonably thought he'd get away when anything other than death for his crimes, you are a fool and are blind to not only the trial evidence, but moreover, the political winds.
Now onto Saddam, there is no joke that this case decision being delivered to millions of Americans is going to make the Republican Party come out smelling like a white mushroom. It is these large overall acts that go far in helping Republican candidates' constituencies ignore what the polls are saying, what their opponents are saying and even what they are saying.
Beyond this, Hussein was a dictator, but there is one thing that dictators do well, and always will do well, they control. People in Iraq did not have to worry about getting water, food, and electricity. Now, with the work Americans have done there, it is difficult to live day to day and with the insurgence and sectarian violence. The children, the mothers and the fathers of Iraqi families are dying each day. However, I will say this: We must not leave, why? Because we (meaning our president and defense department) made this bed called Iraq and now we must sleep in it. George Bush can stay the course all he wants to, I will not stay the course, I will advance the course with all possible speed. This needs to end soon and so therefore do the corruption of our government in this area, the death of our troops and the death of innocent Iraqi civilians.
Saddam's trial was just an overemphasized Hollywood trial to keep people's eyes of the real problems in Iraq. I know its hard to communicate sarcasm of the internet, but I'll be blunt...who thought that Saddam wouldn't get a death sentence, if there is anyone out there who reasonably thought he'd get away when anything other than death for his crimes, you are a fool and are blind to not only the trial evidence, but moreover, the political winds.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
So I've got this wish journal...
So I've got this wish journal and I write down all my impossible dreams inside of it:
-Watching Oakland win a Super Bowl (SCREW YOU JON GRUDEN!)
-Watching Cleveland win the World Series
-Watching the Yankees lose to the Devil Rays (CHECKMARK)
-Watching Notre Dame win a national championship
-Watching Denver losing to Oakland at Invesco (THANK YOU JON GRUDEN!)
-Owning a Jaguar D-Type Race car
-Ability, charm and good looks.
Those are in my wish journal, but I put the probable wishes in my real one, stuff like:
-Becoming president of the United States
-Buying groceries
-Getting paid a six-digit income with a political science degree
However, despite all these dreams I have, I'm starting to acknowledge that two of my dreams are soon dying. 1) It appears that the Cowboys are not going to win the MWC, 2) There are most likely going to be three undefeated teams.
1) With a stunning defeat at the hands of the Horned Frogs this weekend, Cowboy fans everywhere crumbled into defeatism. Good news is the Cowboys have the best chance at being number two in the MWC. In a four way tie for second (technically) the Cowboys are matched up against Air Force, New Mexico and Utah. The Boys are facing off against the Aztecs of San Diego State, then UNLV, and finally to finish the season...a doomsday trip to BYU (that's optomistic).
In contrast, AF will play Army, Notre Dame (OUCH!), Utah and UNLV; I predict one loss, to ND, just good enough to tie for number 2.
New Mexico plays TCU, BYU and SD State. Good enough to take SD State for sure, but BYU and TCU present their own little problems for the Lobos who have actually come on pretty strong in the last few weeks. I predict one win for NM.
Utah plays CSU, Air Force and BYU. I predict two losses for Utah, one to BYU and the other to AF, because that triple option will annihilate that Utah defense that allows for an average of 100 yards rushing a game, Air Force will be licking their chops in preparation for that game.
That leaves us with UW and AF tied for second (unless by some shock of God BYU drops four straight). In which AF will get the technical edge, because of a victory over UW in Laramie...but still, tied for second. Better than we were to begin with.
There are probably going to be three unbeaten squads this year: In all reality (Michigan, West Virginia and Boise State). I am still praying for rain and hoping that Boise State is the only unbeaten. The twisted web that Louisville, Rutgers and West Virginia are all in could result in two teams losing, but I think that Michigan is just too good (run defense of 28 yards a game) to lose at all, if to Ohio State. I think that Ohio State could slip up, but Michigan will not.
Boise State showed itself off tonight in a gorgeous whoopin of Fresno State, sure its not a good team, but their losses have been by very few points, the only whoopin they got prior was from Hawaii, so congrats to Boise State, stay the course and keep your eyes on the Wolf Pack of Nevada.
I'd like to take this moment to acknowledge four things that I don't get to often:
1) Congratulations to Hawaii QB Colt Brennan who has thrown 75% for almost three thousand yards, 33 tds, 5 ints and with a resounding qb rating of 185. This man has been going ballistic on teams with his aerial game. I hope he is selected to attend the Heisman ceremony this year, even though he'll probably lose to the likes of Troy Smith, or possibly...
2) A year has past and ND has destroyed Navy again. Next year, Navy will get another chance at evening the most lopsided rivalry in football. With my 2nd man Brady Quinn throwing for huge numbers of 72%, 295 yards, and 3 tds. A total on the season of 64% completion, 2200 yards, 21 tds, 4 ints and a great qb rating of 145.8, the only reason why he'll defeat Colt Brennan is because he's faced far tougher opponents. I present Navy with an open invitation to try and gain a W against ND next year, I think I've seen Vincent Price in person more than Navy has won against ND.
3) My final note here is this, USC LOST! Oh that's right, I was crying because I had exams, papers and homework due the upcoming week but I started bawling in my friend's living room because the nightmare was over. One thing that gives me the giggles is this: ND gets romped by ranked Michigan, and drops ten spots, USC loses to unranked (and pretty much unknown) Oregon State, and only manages to drop five. Screw you AP...at least rank Cal better!
4) The Heisman rundown. I was seriously thinking that Garrett Wolfe was going to be my man this year, but since the rest of NCAA FB found out that throwing everything plus the gatorade cooler at him could stop him, he's been running on empty. Here's my list in alpha-numeric order for the Heisman:
-Watching Oakland win a Super Bowl (SCREW YOU JON GRUDEN!)
-Watching Cleveland win the World Series
-Watching the Yankees lose to the Devil Rays (CHECKMARK)
-Watching Notre Dame win a national championship
-Watching Denver losing to Oakland at Invesco (THANK YOU JON GRUDEN!)
-Owning a Jaguar D-Type Race car
-Ability, charm and good looks.
Those are in my wish journal, but I put the probable wishes in my real one, stuff like:
-Becoming president of the United States
-Buying groceries
-Getting paid a six-digit income with a political science degree
However, despite all these dreams I have, I'm starting to acknowledge that two of my dreams are soon dying. 1) It appears that the Cowboys are not going to win the MWC, 2) There are most likely going to be three undefeated teams.
1) With a stunning defeat at the hands of the Horned Frogs this weekend, Cowboy fans everywhere crumbled into defeatism. Good news is the Cowboys have the best chance at being number two in the MWC. In a four way tie for second (technically) the Cowboys are matched up against Air Force, New Mexico and Utah. The Boys are facing off against the Aztecs of San Diego State, then UNLV, and finally to finish the season...a doomsday trip to BYU (that's optomistic).
In contrast, AF will play Army, Notre Dame (OUCH!), Utah and UNLV; I predict one loss, to ND, just good enough to tie for number 2.
New Mexico plays TCU, BYU and SD State. Good enough to take SD State for sure, but BYU and TCU present their own little problems for the Lobos who have actually come on pretty strong in the last few weeks. I predict one win for NM.
Utah plays CSU, Air Force and BYU. I predict two losses for Utah, one to BYU and the other to AF, because that triple option will annihilate that Utah defense that allows for an average of 100 yards rushing a game, Air Force will be licking their chops in preparation for that game.
That leaves us with UW and AF tied for second (unless by some shock of God BYU drops four straight). In which AF will get the technical edge, because of a victory over UW in Laramie...but still, tied for second. Better than we were to begin with.
There are probably going to be three unbeaten squads this year: In all reality (Michigan, West Virginia and Boise State). I am still praying for rain and hoping that Boise State is the only unbeaten. The twisted web that Louisville, Rutgers and West Virginia are all in could result in two teams losing, but I think that Michigan is just too good (run defense of 28 yards a game) to lose at all, if to Ohio State. I think that Ohio State could slip up, but Michigan will not.
Boise State showed itself off tonight in a gorgeous whoopin of Fresno State, sure its not a good team, but their losses have been by very few points, the only whoopin they got prior was from Hawaii, so congrats to Boise State, stay the course and keep your eyes on the Wolf Pack of Nevada.
I'd like to take this moment to acknowledge four things that I don't get to often:
1) Congratulations to Hawaii QB Colt Brennan who has thrown 75% for almost three thousand yards, 33 tds, 5 ints and with a resounding qb rating of 185. This man has been going ballistic on teams with his aerial game. I hope he is selected to attend the Heisman ceremony this year, even though he'll probably lose to the likes of Troy Smith, or possibly...
2) A year has past and ND has destroyed Navy again. Next year, Navy will get another chance at evening the most lopsided rivalry in football. With my 2nd man Brady Quinn throwing for huge numbers of 72%, 295 yards, and 3 tds. A total on the season of 64% completion, 2200 yards, 21 tds, 4 ints and a great qb rating of 145.8, the only reason why he'll defeat Colt Brennan is because he's faced far tougher opponents. I present Navy with an open invitation to try and gain a W against ND next year, I think I've seen Vincent Price in person more than Navy has won against ND.
3) My final note here is this, USC LOST! Oh that's right, I was crying because I had exams, papers and homework due the upcoming week but I started bawling in my friend's living room because the nightmare was over. One thing that gives me the giggles is this: ND gets romped by ranked Michigan, and drops ten spots, USC loses to unranked (and pretty much unknown) Oregon State, and only manages to drop five. Screw you AP...at least rank Cal better!
4) The Heisman rundown. I was seriously thinking that Garrett Wolfe was going to be my man this year, but since the rest of NCAA FB found out that throwing everything plus the gatorade cooler at him could stop him, he's been running on empty. Here's my list in alpha-numeric order for the Heisman:
- Troy Smith (Ohio State) = Why? He's an unbeaten quarterback of a top five school with nice numbers. (68%, 1,900 yards, 22 tds, 2 ints, plus a rushing td) To be put bluntly, he's the best guy out there right now, he can make it rain, doesn't usually make it pour, but he can doesn't get sloppy. His leadership is noticeable on and off the field. I think that his o-line should get part of the Heisman to boot.
- Brady Quinn (ND) = Why? Not only is he my second favorite qb in NCAA FB, he's a quarterback who has lost one game to a phenominal defense, otherwise he's pretty clean. His capabilities on the field are quite easy to see. (64%, 2,200 yards, 21 tds, 4 ints, 2 rushing tds to boot). This man can make it pour on opposing defenses. Brady Quinn was disavowed from last year's Heisman because of an incredible candidacy that included Leinart, Bush, Young, himself and one other guy who had about as good as a chance as Hitler pulling a comeback while contemplating suicide in his underground bunker. This year may be his year.
- Colt Brennan (Hawaii) = Why? Hello! Look above and see his stats. He sits below Quinn because he hasn't faced the defenses Brady has, but man those are some numbers. Just because he has lost a couple games to amazing opponents (like Boise State), doesn't mean he should be out, look for him to clean up big time in the few remaining games of the year so it looks like he could give a seriel code a run for its money.
- Marshawn Lynch (Cal) = Why? A running back who does well is one thing (907 yards on 132 carries for 8 tds), but another thing is a RB who has 19 catches for 216 yards and 3 tds. This is what Lynch carries over Slaton of WV and Hart of Michigan. His ability to not only run, but receive for good yards and for tds. He has the most overall tds of the other two with eleven. Another reason why Lynch? He's part of the reason why Cal is ranked so well, and why they will be at the end of the season.
- Ray Rice (Rutgers) = Why? Solid performances against all opponents. His numbers are 223 for 1,200 yards and 13 tds. Those are good numbers and even though Rutgers hasn't had the toughest schedule, Ray Rice will have his proving ground with Louisville and WV later this season. If he can run well against those defenses, count him staying in the Heisman run for the count.
- Heisman Contender *drum roll* = Karsten Sween (Wyoming) = Why? This kid came out of the woodworks of the MWC to an early and quiet start to a roar. Sween has only played in four and a half games for the Cowboys and has racked up a completion rating of 60%, 926 yards, 7 tds and four ints, plus a rushing td. These are truly amazing numbers from a guy who got his start five weeks ago after getting the nod from head coach Joe Glenn, and almost toppling Syracuse. He's had his rough spots, but look for him to shine in these last few games of the year. Also look for him in the future, by his junior or senior year this one will be throwing with the best of 'em.
So, down the road, who will win? Probably Troy Smith, because even though he'll take a beating to Michigan, it won't be enough for Brady Quinn's whoopin by Michigan to even out even though he's going to make some major plays in the final four games of the season against NC, Army, Air Force and USC (which could promise some difficulty). Colt Brennan will have great numbers, but his numbers won't go past his WAC opponents. Ray Rice and Marshawn Lynch should show up too, but unless Rice can run against both WV and Louisville he can't be taken seriously. Sween should at least garner some major honors for his first year of play (if he doesn't go to the Heisman ceremony).
Finally, I love you Temple, you make me believe that dreams can come true...maybe Wyoming will win the MWC *pulls out BYU voodoo doll*.
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