WHAA?!

Ya' know, I've seen lots of things. I'm only twenty-one, but I've seen things that would make the Ghostbusters shit themselves, ya' know the real ones. Probably the highest on the rankings would either be seeing a kitten microwaved or a man murdered by rebels with a combat knife. However, this tops them all:
http://buzzplant.com/lbg/ecard1/?gclid=CKzvm-idrYkCFSSEYAod4H05Lw

That's right, the makers of the Left Behind book series finally could not bear it anymore and had to get into the game market. Niiice, like I didn't enjoy having to hear about those crappy books already, now they've invaded another field I love. I swear if any religious group plans to place a religion based football or soccer squad into the pros, I'll friggin go jihad on those fools.

http://www.leftbehind.com/channelnews.asp?pageid=1322&channelID=17
I originally wanted to go step by step in my diagnosis of this pile of horse shit, but opted instead to take on their pro-argument piece by piece (above link):

• "From the beginning, we have been jealous about the subsidiary rights to Left Behind. We have turned down all sorts of offers to capitalize on the name with pins, pens, mugs, candles, jewelry, and even board games. Our sole purpose in the writing was to declare a message in the hope that fewer people would be left behind, so unless a product can expand that message—as have the kids books, graphic novels (comics), and movies—we have stood firm." EEEH! Wrong answer Jerry, would you like to advance to Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change? Hypocrisy is a dangerous concept, you've whored yourself out to the movie industry (not to mention the rest) and if there is an industry that ever seeks to just make money, that is it. By making a "Left Behind" film early on in the conception of your masterpiece, it shows your willingness to make money off of this idea. Those "I *heart* Jesus" pins really pulled in the cash, I'm sorry but those are tinkertoy enterprises. Video games ARE a money-making endeavor. Its not like the Mormons make a ton of cash off of selling Books of Mormon, nor do missionaries make people pay for The Bible. Unfortunately, the assholes behind Left Behind do make a lot of money off your dumb religious asses. When you only read the book cause your religious, you are stupid, you should be reading something you would enjoy reading like Louis L'Amour, J.R.R. Tolkien or Tom Clancy. Don't support these money-hounding assholes. Ask how much they give of their money to Christian causes. "Q: Do any proceeds from the books go to special causes? A: Jenkins—'Of course, but Scripture is clear that if we talk about this and get the praise of men for it in this life, we lose the reward for it in heaven.'" Hahaha, are you fucking kidding me? I even know church's who will explain how their given offerings are distributed. That kind of garbage is bullshit, I'm guessing its probably somewhere between 0 and .5%. Oliver Stone and the makers of "World Trade Center" said they would donate 10% of their earnings, and they have. Even Mel Gibson said that the money from The Passion would be going towards a church. There is no need to cop-out on your greed, it is okay to be greedy, remember Gordon Gekko "Greed is a good thing, greed makes the world go round."
• "When first we heard of a video game, we were as skeptical as anyone and insisted on hearing the idea directly from the planners. We were pleased to find that they were thorough professionals, shared our faith, and were as committed as we were to have the message be clear. We also wanted to avoid gratuitous violence." Yup, I know how important religious views can be, I'm sure that Wisdom Tree had the same views as the people who wanted to create "Bible Adventures" for the NES (given that the former company made unlicensed games and had to cop-out to religious thoughts to continue making games). I don't want to break anyone's heart here, but video games are also created to make money. Games that have a message flop (insert: Bible Adventures, Captain Novelin, and of course Revolution X). I will get to the gratuitous violence bit later.
• "The result is a game that is beautifully rendered, clearly carries our message (indeed, we have already heard of one young man who has become a believer through playing it), is strategic rather than only warfare based, and is no more violent than the Lone Ranger or Roy Rogers episodes I grew up watching. Unlike typical video games that show buckets of blood and flying body parts, victims shot in our game fall in a puff of smoke." Phew, passed the first hurdle, if the game wasn't well rendered (which its not badly rendered), it wouldn't be able to sell at all. And I'm glad that there has been a conversion. I'm sure that your numbers compared to the number of people who have adopted the religious implications that generally surround "Final Fantasy" or "The Secret of Mana" are astoundingly different even though neither have an actual religion and take place in impossible dream worlds. Again, I will reserve my violence argument for later.
• "Yes, there is killing in self-defense, but more points are scored by building the Tribulation Force and its infrastructure. There is zero targeting of specific people groups. The enemy are the forces of the antichrist who have already taken the mark of the beast and committed themselves to his service." Exactly, you have these things called "Spirit Points" and you earn more by getting people to join by prayer rather than warfare. Well, that solves it, conversion to Christ pays for riflemen, ammunition, training and of course, tanks. I mean really, points? Are you kidding me? The only thing that matters is money in video games and if spirit points are the currency, I guess you better start praying. I think that its been said many times, "It is easier to destroy than create." And I bet you ten bucks that you can bring a Muslim down faster with a battalion of troops than one prayer child and its probably more fun too. In Age of Empires II, you had monks who could work conversion powers on rival soldiers and make them join your side...that was the most boring shit I ever had to do...possibly ever and that includes writing a paper on the metric system. I can only imagine how much more terrible it is in this. The Mark of the Beast is probably attributed to many different walks of people like leaders of his army with Arabic names, I'm sure that Satan gets reinforcements from San Fransisco where gay people have adopted his free-swinging lifestyle. His number one reinforcement area is the nation of Israel because their misbelief in Jesus has caused them to remain on Earth during the Rapture. Its quite comforting to know that all major religions that aren't remotely Christian contribute to the Satan Squad. Either way, you can only convert stragglers who can't decide if they want to eat pastrami on rye or bologna on white. You simply cannot help those who are your enemies and must challenge them to war, you and your prayer circle versus, from what I can tell, guys with guns, big guns...watch out they shoot real bullets. While you on the other hand look like your trying to shoot a prayer gun from Billy Graham's Bible Blaster.
• "The game has been approved by Focus on the Family, which is careful about such matters." Yeah, Focus on the Family, these are the same group of people who feel that movies like "Borat", that are edgy for certain are on the verge of destroying our society. They never even stopped to examine the rare thought experiment that Sacha Baron Cohen revealed to us in our convoluted American Nature. Another quote I found on Focus on the Family's website was this: "A study to be published in the Journal of Environmental Management found an interesting correlation between the public's flagging interest in national parks and increased video gaming activity. Between 1987 to 2000, the average American's game-playing time grew from almost nothing to 90 hours annually. Throw in time spent surfing the Internet and watching movies, and "the average person in the U.S. spent 327 more hours per year on these entertainment media in 2003 than he or she did in 1987," says the study. This increased media usage corresponds with a diminishing number of national park visits by the American public each year since 1988. Up to that year, national park visits had grown annually for the previous 50 years." Being that I'm an amatuer statistician, I've come to understand what exactly bullshit statistics are. The above is an example of bullshit statistics. Bullshit statistics are used to bolster a pathetically weak argument with numbers that seem important. A good example of this is that I could point out that because the world is becoming increasingly more religious, this could be tied with a rising abortion rate. Now everyone knows this is stupid and everyone is of course, right because this is an example of bullshit statstics. I don't blame anyone in paticular for bullshit statistics except for the makers of Freakanomics who seem to think that child illiteracy is caused by the amount of super glue you keep in your kitchen. However, when people choose to use bullshit statistics, I will attack them, Focus on the Family, you suck.
• The Founder of the Promise Keepers (and I do love that title) said "The enemy (being Satan, not Rockstar North) is bombarding them (video gamers) with really clever stuff (entertaining video games)." Mhmm, that's right old man, I'm sure that Satan's big goal to really make me go to hell was to release Gran Turismo 4, Ridge Racer 7, or even more importantly, Madden 2007! Seriously, even the Grand Theft Auto games, Resident Evil titles or first person shooters lack the uhh, ties to the Dark Lord. If you want to talk about a game that deals in showing some satanism, go to Apocalypse on the PSX (and that is STILL FAR OFF), its dealing with exactly the type of stuff Left Behind is. If you look to violent games as a generator for Satan's armies...you have to blame crack for the rising cost of potato chips.
• One section in the promotional video included a section where you can delve into the clues from the scripture in order to help your cause. One slide said "Evolution explained", I understand that one must take a stand against these things, but good Lord. The game designers publicly said that this was going to be neutral towards groups, you were fighting Satan or you weren't. Well uhh, it seems like you're fighting Evolutionists, Scientologists, Muslims, Mormons, Jews and the like...unbelievable. Not to mention that the baddies on the box cover are Hispanics, African Americans, and what look to be masked Arabs. As compared with the good guys who are ALL white. I mean c'mon, seriously, how freakin' blatant does it get.
• I didn't see "The Passion of the Christ" and I didn't see "The Nativity Story", what makes you think I want to play a video game that is supposedly selling me what the Rapture is supposed to be. Uhh, there is a book...hmm, that's right Revelations. If I want a dose of that, I WILL read the book (again). Also, "We're trying to show what will happen in a practical way." Hello! Its the FUCKING APOCALYPSE! Do I need to draw you a fucking picture? I don't need your shitty CG conversions and violence to get me all hopped up about the Apocalypse. I'm sure I can do that on my own.
• I have a major issue with logic. Can you save the souls? The righteous are gone...do you remember this, there are only heathans and Satan. I think that Lucifer wouldn't have too much of a problem kicking the shit out of the stragglers left on Earth. During the Rapture there won't be saving of souls, people will be SOL and they will be fighting to stay alive until they eventually die. Remember this too, Lucifer is second to God in ability and we can stop him right!? Well if you're on Earth and Lucifer is at it, I'll quote Samuel L. Jackson "Your asses would be dead as fried fuckin' chicken."
• Now to the area that pisses me off the most. Violence. Violence in real-time strategy games is almost non-existent. In Command and Conquer tanks get blown up a poof of smoke, men fall down after being killed, people's bodies don't splatter across the map. Age of Empires was the same way, you didn't see bloody charred corpses after the battle, no they just were dead and gone. So don't feed me this, we're holier than thou because we have a RTS title that is non-violent crap. Warcraft 3, now there were some brutal finishes there...NOT! They also said it was more strategy based, now I may be wrong here, but Warcraft 3 was like you have infinite guys and you could just battle forever right? Same thing with Age of Empires and Command and Conquer correct? You didn't have to manage supplies, find more raw materials or even wisely upgrade buildings, classes of characters or even your entire society? I always knew those games had no strategy. You want to look at a strategic real-time strategy game, its called "Civilization", you brainless dickheads and it is non-violent, there is NO VIOLENCE. Go ahead LB Games, make a third person action or a first person shooter Bible game that manages to keep everyone amused and still get your message across. These are the same jackasses who managed to say when Bible Adventures came out, "Well, Mario is just too violent, hopping on turtles and riding green dinosaurs. First of all, why's he riding a dinosaur, does the Guinea smoke pot? Secondly, everyone knows that dinosaurs are just a myth that scientists made up to scare our faith away." It is this level of assumed idiocy that will not stand with me for a fucking second. Never have I been an enemy of trying to bring people to ANY faith, but it is when these people opt to do it out of a pompous, arrogant and ignorant manner I will stand against it.

So, this closes my diatribe on Left Behind: Eternal Forces. If you purchase it, don't let me know, cause I'll knock your fucking head off.

I Love Football...Most of the Time

I love football...most of the time. I will sit down and watch most any game on a saturday, college football excites the nerves and makes me feel all gooey inside.

Recently, I watched as the Trojans dashed any dream of my Irish to do well, but I still watched the game...and enjoyed it. Yesterday, I watched both the New Mexico Bowl and the Armed Forces Bowl and found them both entertaining despite the fact that my Cowboys should've been playing in either of those bowls.

Today, I watched Denver and Cincinnati play in Denver. I started watching at the beginning of the second half. Now, I have never ever claimed to be a fan of the Denver Broncos, and so watching their games is always a healthy way for me to reduce stress while watching them get beat. And hell, I probably could've enjoyed today's game without a Denver loss, but two main things really hit me hard and never stopped:

1. Phil Simms is an idiot. That's right, I thought that Phil Simms had a brain between his ears, but I can assure you that in fact, Phil Simms I.Q. sits somewhere between 30-60. How do I know this? His commentaries on the game: "Ya' know John Lynch didn't even get on the ball when he hit Rudy Johnson." (Me: He put his helmet right on the ball *saw this from the on-field angle*). Phil Simms: "Wow, you see that Lynch puts his helmet right on the ball in that hit." (Me: *anurism*). Another one happened later on: Phil Simms: "You see his foot was on the goal line when he caught this punt." (Me: When he reestablished himself on the one, that's where the ball is.) Referee: "Ruling on the field stands, Denver ball on the 1." Phil Simms: "I still don't see it." (Me: *anurism*). Phil Simms: "Jackson was going around on the reverse and just didn't get outside enough and Cincinnati made the play to shove him out of bounds." (Me: Dur...we all saw that.) Phil Simms: "And because he shoved him out of bounds, the clock stopped." (Me: *anurism*). Finally and more horrifically this was one he had to say. Phil Simms: "Boy this Cincinnati Defense was really playing the physical part of the game and now they just aren't...(no diagnosis)." (Me: They just let Denver go on an eight minute scoring drive for 99 yards, they're fucking exhausted!). Phil Simms: "..." (Me: *telepathically communicating to Phil Simms* "restatement of last sentence"). Phil Simms: "Ya' know...I like turkey." (Me: *anurism*).
2. Commercials! WHAT IS IT ABOUT FUCKING COMMERCIALS AND THE NFL!? Stop that shit, they halt the action in a game so that they can show commercials. Its not like time out called, go to a 30 second commercial. It IS like this: "Denver on top of Cincinnati 24-17, with 8:50 left in the 4th." *do-do-do (three minutes of commericals) do-do-do* and magically, not a SINGLE-FUCKING-PLAY has happened in that three minutes. They radio'd into Marvin Lewis and Mike Shanahan and said "Hey, we're running commercials, do nothing." In that break I'm sure that Chad Johnson was just sitting there letting his legs get cold or Ian Gold was hopping around trying to keep warm and ready for the next play while I was watching the same bullshit commercial for Lowe's about Santa and his stupid ass gifcard stipulated circumstances! I quote Al Pacino from "Any Given Sunday", "It's TV, it changed everything, changed the way we think forever. I mean the first time they stopped the game to cut away to some fucking commercial that was the end of it. Because it was our concentration that mattered, not theirs, not some fruitcake selling cereal." That's one thing that's great about college ball, I come back from commercial break and shit has gone down, "While away at commercial break, Ian Johnson ripped off a 34 yard run against the Wolf Pack Defense." I can deal with the fact that that actually happened, I'm okay with that, why? Because the game didn't stop for commercial bullshit. Another thing too, It took me four hours to finish that Denver game, if I caught a college game at the end of the first, the game would be done in two hours, maybe two and a half tops.

Seriously, like I said, I love football...most of the time. It took me until college to realize that I like NCAAFB way more than the NFL, FOREVER! Because you are a kid...and therefore a friggin' moron, you never understand quite what crap the NFL was forcing you through. I was wondering why as I got older, I watched less and less games and more and more Sportscenter when it pertained to the NFL. Well now you know why.

I'm sure that Phil Simms was just having an off-day, and I'm sure that some commentators do, and that's fine, I will not let bad commentary hold me back from liking a sport. However, this business with the commercials is total and complete bullshit. I cannot stand it and the worst part is that the NFL continues to whore itself out and do more business with commercial ad agencies. College football makes enough money to do themselves a favor when it comes to sports and that is keep it as pure as possible. Watch the Super Bowl and watch the BCS National Championship, in FoxSports Net true fashion, here is my feareless prediction. Two more hours dedicated to the Super Bowl than Ohio State/Florida.

Luck

I once heard a quote that went like this. "Luck is when opportunity meets preparation." Ya' know, sometimes, I think that quote is right. Then there are other times that seem like that quote couldn't be further from the truth.
Here's a thought:
Denver, meaning the Broncos, got, lucky...yep the second kind. Tonight in a 23-24 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals (who can still make the playoffs). Cincinnati managed to turn the ball over four times. You might say, they prepared and took the opportunities...err, some of these were gimmies. I think at least two of the turnovers were about as easy as hand-offs. Then in the final moments of the game, a bad snap on a PAT won Denver the game. Cincinnati proceeded to recover the onside kick and then have a flag called on them for offsides. Denver won by sheer luck tonight.
I hope and pray that through a sense of karma, that one of two things happen. A) Denver plays San Fransisco next week and gets throughly ass-raped by Frank Gore. When Rudy Johnson runs for 130 yards in a game, that's like asking Frank Gore to bring his C game and still annhiliate you. B) Watch Denver make it to the playoffs and end up playing San Diego in San Diego and relish in watching LaDanian Tomlinson make everyone on that team bawl.
Seriously, I don't think I've been this angry about any match-up in years, but this is necessary to state...
"Fuck you Denver."

The Mountain West Strikes Back

The Mountain West Conference was given four bowl games this season: Armed Forces Bowl, Poinsettia Bowl, New Mexico Bowl and the Las Vegas Bowl. A pummeling victory by TCU was not what the MWC needed given the opponent (NIU). Even a strong victory at both the Armed Forces Bowl (Utah v. Tulsa), and the New Mexico Bowl (NM v. San Jose St.) will not do enough to cement the MWC as a competitive league with strong teams. The victory needed for the conference is the Las Vegas Bowl where a MWC team has to show its grit against a program in the always strong division of the Pac-10. Well...tonight, BYU did exactly that.

Last night, in the Las Vegas night, the Cougars of Brigham Young proceeded to destroy the Oregon Ducks 38-8. Such a divisive blow has not been struck since my freshman year at the University of Wyoming when Wyoming defeated UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl in addition to seeing Utah obliterate Pittsburgh in the Fiesta Bowl.

John Beck, one of several players who was arguably left out of the Heisman voting despite a fantastic season that ended up placing him as the second all-time passer in BYU history, had a fantastic game in which he threw for 27 of 46 for 375 yards of total passing. Furthermore, he passed for two touchdowns, but also gave up two interceptions. Beck also ran in for a touchdown in the game.

Fortunately due to some stiff defensive play by the BYU defense which limited both Oregon quarterbacks to only 164 yards passing for one touchdown which came late in the game (2 point conversion after was good). Both Brady Leaf and Dennis Dixon threw an interception in the contest. When the Ducks fell behind BYU rather quickly, they naturally opted to start throwing the ball more on their possessions. The Ducks never got around to aptly developing any sort of run game even though, on 16 carries by Dennis Dixon and Jeremiah Johnson, the Ducks had nearly racked up 100 yards on the ground.

Beck had a solid game in his leadership capabilities and a somewhat better than par game in statistics, but a real workhorse was Curtis Brown who was averaging seven yards each time he put his hands on the ball. He ended the night with 120 yards and two touchdowns in the victory over Oregon.

Another big player who was voted MVP of the Las Vegas Bowl was Johnny Harline who caught nine passes for a whopping 181 yards and a touchdown. Throughout the game it seemed like the Oregon secondary simply could not get complete coverage on Harline and he ended up being a strong hand in the BYU victory as well.

In the end of all this, the Cougars are winners, but the big winner is the MWC which had five bowl eligible teams this season in BYU, TCU, Utah, New Mexico and Wyoming (who was tragically cut out of the New Mexico Bowl because of a final week NM victory over the SDSU Aztecs). By proving the competitive nature of this conference, it is obvious that there may be more respect given to this group of programs in addition to more bowl game opportunities.

Pavlov’s Bell Equivalent in College Football: Bowl Season

Can Florida do it, can they knock off an immense Ohio State squad?
Will Notre Dame be able to show the world that they too can win the big game?
Can Boise State make a name for the WAC in college football?
Who cares...?

As important as the BCS games are not only to schools, but to programs, television networks and of course the alcoholic beverage industry, they are only a piece of the puzzle that creates the Bowl Season. I for one am excited to watch these games, but that doesn't mean that there aren't going to be other games worthy of my attention.

The games to watch are those that are little publicized and are little talked about. Here's three games to salivate over in the coming bowl season:

1. Outback Bowl: One word, "potential." This matchup between Tennessee and Penn State has the potential to be one of the real contests of this bowl season. Upon first sight this matchup seems like it will be a snore-fest that reeks of name recognition. There are two solid reasons this game will be worth watching. First of all, Tennessee has the 71st run defense in the nation and Penn State's Tony Hunt who has racked up over 1,200 yards and 11 TDs on the year is licking his chops. Look for Tennessee to give him the "Garrett Wolfe" treatment and watch to see if Paterno & Penn State QB Aaron Morelli can make it rain on a pretty solid Tennessee secondary. Another thing to look at here is one man, Erik Ainge. Two games into the season I wasn't even looking at Brady Quinn or Troy Smith, this was my Heisman vote. He has since then hit a tail spin (which is a nice way of saying it), but still has the ability to lead the Vols to a win against Penn State who is 37th in pass defense in the nation but probably will not be enough to shut down Erik Ainge and the 13th rated pass offense of the Vols, unless... Unless Paul Posluszny along with the rest of the linebacking core of the Nittany Lions can make life uncomfortable for Ainge. These two teams know how to beat each other, and I believe both can execute, so why watch this defensive battle? These teams have a lot to prove (yes, this is my second reason). Tennessee and Penn State both have played in difficult conferences (SEC and Big Ten respectively) and this is a (much)lesser matchup of the national championship. Tennessee came out with high expectations and got handed some losses in just the same fashion that Penn State did. These teams will be entering into this bowl game with a reason to make an example out of each other. An Outback Bowl victory will be a spring-board to recruiting in the off-season as well as some respect come next year. I like Penn State, 28-24.
   
2. Cotton Bowl: This Auburn v. Nebraska matchup is going to be FUN! I mean this is one of the best matchups of this bowl season. Nebraska has been throwing and running the ball like they belong in the BCS somewhere (18th and 25th respectively) and that is thanks to Bill Callahan which means that their defense is not so hot. Auburn, unlike everyone who was saying weeks ago that they were the best one loss team in the nation, I didn't buy it. That is because they're offense never really got going, it never put up stats that were good against quality opponents or even minimal opponents. The defense of Auburn is what I like though, look for their front four to step up and make Nebraska earn their run yards and then watch for their incredible secondary make it difficult for Zac Taylor to find receivers. While he's in the pocket trying play catch, watch the linebacking core of Auburn make him feel it the next day. The deciding factor will be Auburn's offense, and I just don't think they'll be able to get it done, I like Nebraska 14-10.
   
3. Holiday Bowl: Matching Texas A & M and California is gonna' be great. We're talking about two teams that are masters of ground-based or aerial attacks. Neither of the two defenses are great in dealing with their opponents strengths and so have to compensate to try and and stop them. If California can overload the front line of TAMU and force them to start throwing the ball, their secondary which finished fifth in the nation for interceptions with twenty on the year will have a fun time making Stephen McGee try and play around this Golden Bear secondary. Look for him to go to his great running backs in play actions, tosses to the flat and the like. Now, if the Aggie secondary can shut down Nate Longshore, they will have their hands full, Deshawn Jackson was one of my early picks to go to New York this year and although his play has slowed down, he's going to have some time to recooperate and get ready for a pretty strong Aggie defense. I love the Aggie run game and their ability to keep a game tight, but I don't think their secondary, nor their front four will be able to keep enough pressure on Nate Longshore. I know that they won't be able to keep pressure on Longshore because of the way that they handled Zac Taylor in the Nebraska game, he was able to take the Huskers down the field for a score and the fact is, they didn't do enough to keep the pressure on, well I think they're facing a tougher team here in California. Cal 27-14.

One thing that is beautiful about the rest of the Bowl Season outside of the BCS is that there may be a lot of animosity and build-up to the BCS, but these non-BCS teams really have the chip on their shoulder. These teams especially, we're talking about Tennessee, Penn State, California, Texas A & M, Nebraska and Auburn. If cards were played a little differently, we're talking about a number of these teams possibly playing in the BCS. Victory here is important because it breathes new life into the program.

That's it for now, there are certainly other games worth watching but these are three that are either getting trampled by the national title game, the turmoil surrounding the national title, or are just getting dinged for not being BCS games.

Casino Royale Review

That's right, I saw "Casino Royale"...two nights ago...for the fourth time. Now, I have only watched one movie more than that when it was in theaters, I saw "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" five times if that tells you anything. Another thing I should tell you is this as soon as the introduction for the film started, I squeled like a twelve year old girl at a Hansen concert...hmm I guess that's a bit outdated...I guess John Mayer is better.
Casino Royale: A. Who said that a Blond Bond was impossible? Screw you guys! Daniel Craig took the wit and charm that we've always designated James Bond by and made it just as quality as any prior actor who put on the dinner tuxedo. As an actor Daniel Craig has been showing me that he has an ability to take on different character roles and do a very solid job. Movies like "Layer Cake", "The Jacket", "Road to Perdition" & "Munich" have shown off his acting skills in a number of different settings. Although "Layer Cake" was not that great of a film, it allowed me to view Daniel Craig as a leading man and assured me of his skills there. When I heard that Craig was to be the new Bond I did not fret like a lot of people did, I understood that like any other Bond ever picked, he was out of no where and blond hair was no disqualifying factor. He played the role of a blossoming Bond quite well, not entirely perfect with his pick-up lines, suave movements and graceful villain dethronings.
Eva Green was absolutely gorgeous in the film. I did not find her attractive in "Kingdom of Heaven", but in this film she exuded outer beauty, intelligence, voracity and overall sex appeal that was not needed to be attended to by the eyes. In a scene from the film she walks up and kisses Daniel Craig at the card table to catch the attention of other players, if Campbell's camera hadn't of followed her ass out of the playing area, I would have used my mind to be admiring her ass walking away from me. There were many times when she and Craig had fantastic chemistry and I felt that she was being true to her character.
Mads Mikkelsen was downright amazing! If you are looking for the typical diabolical Bond villain, Mads Mikkelsen's Le Chiffe is your man and then some. Great job to make-up for making him look creepy with the scar over his left eye. His accent, his manerisms and his treachery were amazingly acted and represented in this film. Everytime he took the table it was like he knew exactly the cards his opponents were playing (naturally) and when to fold. It was like he studied a video of Johnny Chan and just stuck to it in his manerisms to dictate what it was to understand how everyone was playing. Amazing job by Mikkelsen in this film.
Even Judi Dench and Giancarlo Giannini were great additions to the film. They both added a little bit more flavor to a film that would have been good without them, but made it even better with both of them in it. Dench played the perfect cold-hearted MI6 bitch and Giannini played the part of a semi-comic relief character to a T.
Sadly enough, no real gadgets for you all to admire over, but I will say one thing of that. John Cleese is lots of fun and I respect him as an actor, but Desmond Llewellyn as Q was just the best there is and throwing in a guy named "R" to keep the gadgets rolling just isn't the same. I'd say a better choice would've been Michael Gambon if he can do a British accent as well as an Irish one. Unlike a lot of people I didn't have a problem not seeing Bond have a pen that was actually a thermal detonator that could be linked with any bomb in a 500 yard area. The fact that the gadgets that were involved were realistic and more importantly pragmatic made the movie more believable and therefore better.
One thing I should point out to all of you who plan to or have seen this film, it is the beginning of Bond. You simply cannot expect the kind of polished character that any of the prior Bond's have presented because this was his first real 007 mission ever. The storyline was built quite well, it picked up when it needed to and slowed down when it needed to. Action sections were judiciously sought out by the director to allow for the greatest effect on the audience. The action scenes period were well shot, planned and coreographed.
I understand that some of you may be asking why I spoke mainly of the acting in this film. The answer is simple, unless the storyline is grossly terrible, Bond films have been and always will be about making great characters. There is a reason why they are called "Bond" films and not "secret agent" movies. Frankly, this movie is no different, its about making the characters that we will all empathize with and enjoy.
Now for the things that bothered me. With about thirty minutes left in the film, the story became slow...REALLY slow and the dialogue became hammy. When I say hammy I mean hammy, I've sat through chick flicks without saying that. The ending, either just a little more on the film or a little less, anyone who wants to know my idea for the ending that would've had old Bond fans shitting themselves with glee can e-mail me: ne0_maxmus@hotmail.com
Finally, the little things that I liked in little detail. Watch out for an old friend from Langley to make an appearance, Chris Cornell's original song "You Know My Name", the introduction, every Bond movie has torture and this one is no exception, finally and most inconsequentially on the final page of credits, the words...
"James Bond will Return"

Miss America gets to keep her job...*phew*, really dodged a bullet there

Oh my goodness, I heard the other day that Miss America almost lost her crown and I nearly flipped out while driving. Naturally being that I watch the Miss America competition every year. I do it in a little bar in Laramie way out where I won't be pummled to death for cheering when the girls do their talents. Can you imagine the sort of ass-whipping I'd get if I cheered?
Seeing Miss Washington get down on her hands and knees and then proceed to take out a cucumber slowly and seductively at which point she stands up. She looks at the crowd tantalizingly and then pulls out a kitchen knife and proceeds to make a Cobb Salad. I'd be impressed. I remember cheering like a little girl when I saw Miss Illinois play Hot Cross Buns on a recorder.
Upon the occasion of the Miss America Competition I go out to this little bar in the middle of nowhere and watch the show. This year, unlike most, I agreed with the panel who selected Tara Conner. So you can imagine that I was shocked when the news came out:
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=245447&GT1=7703
I normally do not point people to MSN.com unless it is for FoxSports Net.
"I've always been a believer in second chances," Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBC, said with Conner at his side." That's right, this quote is from THE Donald Trump, that's right The Apprentice's Donald Trump. And that is correct, he said he's big on second chances. I've got three words for you Don, "Eat a dick."
Tara Conner had been wrapped up in the crazy life that involved living in New York and being that she was from a small Kentucky town, the ability to drink wherever you want to because your tits are the size of the bouncer's head must have been a brutal reality check.
Now most would ask why this is a problem, this happens everywhere, but Tara Conner is, yes, underage. I know most of you are looking at her photo and saying "No way she's underage. She looks like at least 21." I know that all of you are saying that are male and you're only saying it because you're 47 and you need to know its somewhat okay to choke the chicken to that photo.
Donald Trump also said that Miss Conner will be entering rehab due to her drinking problem. Seriously, I'm sure that she may have gone on some benders, but it is nothing compared to what WyoTechers do in Laramie, their alcoholism would make Jack Nicholson raise an eyebrow and say "Man, I know I'm not that bad." I guess rehab will be a good place of Tara to finally understand herself and how everyone else on the planet is responsible for her alcoholism. I hear she plans to sue Anheuser-Busch next year.
How the hell can you neglect your duties as Miss America, you're doing nothing for twelve damn months! You go to places and take photos or you go and play with little kids. I've had harder jobs playing with myself. Was the pressure just too much on her?! New York City was just too divinely pleasuring to have to go on without benders most nights of the week. The bartender should've recognized her coming in day in day out transforming like a meth billboard of before/after photos and stopped serving her.
I guess I should thank her though...she's every American guy's dream girl...a totally sexy girl, who drinks like Robert Downey Jr.