I Love Football...Most of the Time

I love football...most of the time. I will sit down and watch most any game on a saturday, college football excites the nerves and makes me feel all gooey inside.

Recently, I watched as the Trojans dashed any dream of my Irish to do well, but I still watched the game...and enjoyed it. Yesterday, I watched both the New Mexico Bowl and the Armed Forces Bowl and found them both entertaining despite the fact that my Cowboys should've been playing in either of those bowls.

Today, I watched Denver and Cincinnati play in Denver. I started watching at the beginning of the second half. Now, I have never ever claimed to be a fan of the Denver Broncos, and so watching their games is always a healthy way for me to reduce stress while watching them get beat. And hell, I probably could've enjoyed today's game without a Denver loss, but two main things really hit me hard and never stopped:

1. Phil Simms is an idiot. That's right, I thought that Phil Simms had a brain between his ears, but I can assure you that in fact, Phil Simms I.Q. sits somewhere between 30-60. How do I know this? His commentaries on the game: "Ya' know John Lynch didn't even get on the ball when he hit Rudy Johnson." (Me: He put his helmet right on the ball *saw this from the on-field angle*). Phil Simms: "Wow, you see that Lynch puts his helmet right on the ball in that hit." (Me: *anurism*). Another one happened later on: Phil Simms: "You see his foot was on the goal line when he caught this punt." (Me: When he reestablished himself on the one, that's where the ball is.) Referee: "Ruling on the field stands, Denver ball on the 1." Phil Simms: "I still don't see it." (Me: *anurism*). Phil Simms: "Jackson was going around on the reverse and just didn't get outside enough and Cincinnati made the play to shove him out of bounds." (Me: Dur...we all saw that.) Phil Simms: "And because he shoved him out of bounds, the clock stopped." (Me: *anurism*). Finally and more horrifically this was one he had to say. Phil Simms: "Boy this Cincinnati Defense was really playing the physical part of the game and now they just aren't...(no diagnosis)." (Me: They just let Denver go on an eight minute scoring drive for 99 yards, they're fucking exhausted!). Phil Simms: "..." (Me: *telepathically communicating to Phil Simms* "restatement of last sentence"). Phil Simms: "Ya' know...I like turkey." (Me: *anurism*).
2. Commercials! WHAT IS IT ABOUT FUCKING COMMERCIALS AND THE NFL!? Stop that shit, they halt the action in a game so that they can show commercials. Its not like time out called, go to a 30 second commercial. It IS like this: "Denver on top of Cincinnati 24-17, with 8:50 left in the 4th." *do-do-do (three minutes of commericals) do-do-do* and magically, not a SINGLE-FUCKING-PLAY has happened in that three minutes. They radio'd into Marvin Lewis and Mike Shanahan and said "Hey, we're running commercials, do nothing." In that break I'm sure that Chad Johnson was just sitting there letting his legs get cold or Ian Gold was hopping around trying to keep warm and ready for the next play while I was watching the same bullshit commercial for Lowe's about Santa and his stupid ass gifcard stipulated circumstances! I quote Al Pacino from "Any Given Sunday", "It's TV, it changed everything, changed the way we think forever. I mean the first time they stopped the game to cut away to some fucking commercial that was the end of it. Because it was our concentration that mattered, not theirs, not some fruitcake selling cereal." That's one thing that's great about college ball, I come back from commercial break and shit has gone down, "While away at commercial break, Ian Johnson ripped off a 34 yard run against the Wolf Pack Defense." I can deal with the fact that that actually happened, I'm okay with that, why? Because the game didn't stop for commercial bullshit. Another thing too, It took me four hours to finish that Denver game, if I caught a college game at the end of the first, the game would be done in two hours, maybe two and a half tops.

Seriously, like I said, I love football...most of the time. It took me until college to realize that I like NCAAFB way more than the NFL, FOREVER! Because you are a kid...and therefore a friggin' moron, you never understand quite what crap the NFL was forcing you through. I was wondering why as I got older, I watched less and less games and more and more Sportscenter when it pertained to the NFL. Well now you know why.

I'm sure that Phil Simms was just having an off-day, and I'm sure that some commentators do, and that's fine, I will not let bad commentary hold me back from liking a sport. However, this business with the commercials is total and complete bullshit. I cannot stand it and the worst part is that the NFL continues to whore itself out and do more business with commercial ad agencies. College football makes enough money to do themselves a favor when it comes to sports and that is keep it as pure as possible. Watch the Super Bowl and watch the BCS National Championship, in FoxSports Net true fashion, here is my feareless prediction. Two more hours dedicated to the Super Bowl than Ohio State/Florida.